The Text Message Not Sent

Have you ever sent a text message via brain? We all experience the moments when WIFI is down, service is unavailable, or our phone bill is just over do. However, in my case the text was read speedily, and replied to without hitting send. So, there I was standing in the middle of the living room trying to win an argument I knew nothing about. The following story is about an unsent good morning text.

“Oh, so you don’t know how to talk?” My cousin Cam asked. She was standing there, arms folded, in baggy clothes. My response was going to be, “I assumed I said “Hello”, when I walked through the door”.  

Instead I replied, “I said hello”.

She said, “That’s not what I am talking about. I sent you a text at 10 am this morning”.

“And I responded good morning back,” I said. Now, at this point she stops to pull out her phone. I knew within that phone, that she was about to bring up a text report a mile long, with my phone number connected to it! So, I pulled out my phone too. Turns out, it wasn’t sent. So, to beat her to the punch I hit send. Her phone dinged.

“What is this?” Cam asked. I could tell by the smirk on her face she just getting started.

I said, “It’s the text message, I would have sent had I hit send”. Now, as a brown person, I never experienced redneck syndrome. But after her hand defied gravity to slap me in the neck, I can say as a Graham cracker, I turned purple.

“Oh, so you think this is funny huh?” She asked.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day

-LDA started playing in my head.

I said, “No. I read the text and responded. It just never got sent. But based off the bio-metrics and algorithms, you should have been able to compute an assumable response”.

The moral of the story: If a female does not respond within the first three seconds of her life, call the Chicago PD’s First 48!